A Little Update, A Lot Feminism

Hello! It's been a while! You know, taking 18 credits and working 20 hours a week makes it so blogging doesn't happen as often as it should.

Life is good. School is good. Work is good. Family is good. My cat died, which is no good. But it's Thanksgiving! I was thinking to myself, and wondering what I was grateful for this year. And then I realized:

I'm grateful for FEMINISM.

*gasp* What a scary word!

I am here to declare it to the world. I AM A FEMINIST! I believe in gender equality. I know, I'm probably making most of the conservative "I read Matt Walsh more than I read the Bible" people I know have an aneurysm. But I don't care. I am a feminist. I need feminism. You need feminism. Let me explain.

One of the most common misconceptions is that feminism is man-hating. NO! Emma Watson recently addressed this issue in her speech to the UN. Feminism, in it's true form, is not about hating or resenting men. Granted, I think there are some women out there who do feel this way, but they are not the majority. Of all the feminists I know, not one of them hates or resents the male species. In fact, they all love and respect both sexes for who they are.

So what is feminism? Well first, it's not some organization that you sign up for and three weeks later you get a badge and a framed certificate with bold letters stating "WELCOME TO FEMINISM. NOW GO BURN YOUR BRA." It is a state of mind. If you believe that men and women are equal (notice my wording here, I said equal, not identical) then you are a feminist. If you think the still widespread attitudes about rape and rape victims are despicable, then you are a feminist. If you think that using sex as a way to sell products is disgusting, then you are a feminist.

I want to talk about the word "equal" quickly. The biggest argument I hear against gender equality is this: "But men and women aren't equal. They are different for a reason." Wait. I think what you meant to say was that men and women aren't identical. I agree. But should/do those differences in sexual organs and hormones affect the way men and women are treated in the workplace? In social settings? In the home? Because I am not identical to my male colleagues and friends, I have to deal with cat-calling? I have to accept that the largest provider of scholarships for women in the United States is essentially a swimsuit competition? Because the sexes are not identical, men are discouraged from showing any "girly" emotion, and the men who have been sexually assaulted are not comforted and treated in the correct way because any sexual encounter should be considered a "triumph?" And both sexes have to deal with impossible body standards? Sounds a little ridiculous to me.

Now, another thing I hear from many people is that because I am a feminist, I am pro-abortion. Let me correct you. I believe that a person has the right to do what they will with their body. But, as soon as those actions affect another person, without their consent, that right stops. That's why I am against things like rape, murder, physical and emotional abuse, and yes, abortion. I have a strong belief that a baby is a human being from conception. Therefore, abortion is an action affecting that of another person without their consent. Thus, anti-abortion for me.

Here is another phrase I often hear uttered by my anti-feminist associates: "I want to be a stay-at-home mom. If I am feminist, I can't do that." FALSE. FALSE FALSE FALSE FALSE FALSE! I want to be a stay-at-home mom! I would love to stay home with my kids, and watch them grow and learn. And I have that choice. I can go to work, I can stay at home. I can travel around the world in 80 days. My options are open, because of feminism. Men need those choices too. If a man wants to be a stay-at-home dad, let him. If he wants to be a super successful career man, let him. If he wants to travel around the world in 80 days, let him. Are you getting my point? Feminism is about choices. About letting human beings choose what they want their life to be. If you want to sit around on the beach wearing nothing but a bikini, go for it. That is your choice. If you want to dress modestly, go for it. If you want to have reckless sex (with both parties consenting, and hopefully understanding the possible consequences), have at it. People who choose abstinence? Yeah, you too. Please.

*side note. Every time I typed the word "choices" I accidentally typed "choir." Can you tell what my passion is?

Here's the thing. We all need feminism. Because the backdrop for feminism is respect. If we all treat each other with respect, we wouldn't have all the gender issues that we do. That's why I'm grateful for this movement. Why wouldn't I be grateful for something that perpetuates equality and respect. Isn't that what we are all looking for?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Signing out,

Mandie

An Update on How Content I Am

Hey! It's been a while. A whole summer passed by and I completely forgot to update the internet on my life! So here we go!

This last summer was long, strenuous, and hot. But, I got my science classes out of the way, which means I officially was able to apply and be admitted into S.T.E.P. Which is awesome! I'm just that much closer to being a teacher! (Which still scares me a little, but also makes me want to jump around and hug trees.)

So here I am now. I moved! The apartment I was in was nice enough, but with my crazy schedule, I just needed a private room where I could go and unwind without any interruptions. I LOVE my new place. Not only do I have my own room, my roommates are great, the kitchen is big, I don't have to worry about utilities, AND there is a piano and an organ in my living room! This place pretty much has everything going for it.

And how am I paying for this great place, you ask? Oh, you know. A scholarship. Out of the WHOLE College of the Arts here at USU, I was chosen for this scholarship! I think maybe one other person got it too. I'm not sure.

So, now I start a new semester. Yeah, taking 18 credits, and working 15-20 hours a week, and preparing for a recital. My brain is going to explode. But, so far, all my classes seem pretty relaxed. I mean, there is Music History, which is always time consuming, but that is going to be my hardest class so far! Followed closely by Music Theory IV. The rest of my classes are going to be so much fun! I have great professors, great people, and a renewed pile of energy that I am just yearning to use on school work. Not only that, but I found a really expensive textbook online, and bought it for $5. That's right. $5. I am the queen of bargain hunting.

Now here is the kicker. The thing that inspired me to write this post. There was an unfortunate situation with my coworker, and it turns out that he will not be working with me this semester. That is not the happy part. That part is pretty sad, and we are all upset that he won't be with us. But, out of the ashes, a phoenix is born! I got a promotion AND a pay raise. I am now senior peer advisor, and will be in charge of training all our new advisors that we hire! I am so excited to get some new responsibilities!

Also, The Lord blesses me! Today, I was running late, and didn't have time to make myself lunch. I should do it the night before, but I forgot. Anyway, I was so hungry, when one of the staff assistants walks by with an extra taco, which she handed right to me! What a blessing that was, considering I still have to be on campus for another century today. 

Life is great. Plus I'm so busy now that I have a legitimate excuse for why I'm not going on dates.

God bless!

Signing out,

Mandie 

So Stop Asking

No. I am not getting married. I am not even close to getting married. I am not even close to finding someone who I could possibly marry. And, no, there is nothing wrong with me.

No. I am not going on a mission. I have prayed, and I have been told no. Just because I am not sacrificing a year and a half of my life does not mean that I am somehow unrighteous and that I am any less deserving of joy.

So stop asking.

Honestly, if there is one thing that bothers me about the culture that I live in, it is that young women seem to only have two options: marriage or mission. The two "M's." But those aren't the only two paths a person can take. Sure, I do want to get married, someday, and I may serve a mission at some point, maybe with my husband or something. But as of right now, I am getting an education. I am working, and learning, and sometimes dying a little bit. And that doesn't make me a bad person.

So stop asking.

I am 20 years old. Barely. I have a lot of life to live. Now, this isn't to say that marriage or a mission ends your freedom and your life. But it is to say that these are BIG steps in life, and I cannot be expected to make them when I barely have 20 years under my belt.

So stop asking.

I am not a crazy feminist lady because I want to have a career. I want to be a choir teacher. Is that so bad? No. It's ok.

So stop asking.

The bottom line is that The Lord has an individual plan for me. It is different than your's, or your sister's (unless I am your sister), or your neighbor's, or anyone else on this earth. Part of MY plan is to live in Logan, study music, and (hopefully) graduate. I know my path, at least for right now, because things change. I am happy with my life, who I am, and where I am going. My fate is between me and The Lord.

So stop asking.

Signing out,
Mandie

The Miracle of the Reappearing Cat

Everyone, let's just talk about miracles for a minute. They happen everyday in the smallest of ways. Recognizing these miracles are a great reminder for me to look to my Heavenly Father in all things.

Let's talk. So we got this cat, Carl, right before my dad died, right? He was so little and cute and pretty much my favorite thing ever. He was a little crazy, but that doesn't mean that I didn't love him so much. And having him was such a blessing, especially while dealing with the recent wounds of my dad's death.

So we have him for five months. Love him so much! Then, one night, he runs out and doesn't come back. We were so, so, so sad. I legitimately think I cried, and I don't cry over animals often. Anyway, we were very sad. His leave of absence turned out to be a blessing, however, because my roommates and I discovered a starving stray (Lucy) up here in Logan about a month later, and my mom probably wouldn't have agreed to take her in if we still had Carl. Don't worry, we checked her for microchips and put up flyers and knocked on doors and everything. She doesn't belong to anyone. Also, she'd been roaming the neighborhood for two weeks, according to the neighborhood, so it was a good thing we took her in.

Well, last week, guess what? The vet calls and says that someone found our cat! Yay! We were so excited! It was the perfect day to be reunited with Carl, because I was having a really hard day with life and death and everything. It was so good to see him! He'd grown up SO much. Wow. We are so grateful for the family who took care of him for the last five months. We thought he was dead! I personally thought he had been sacrificed on an alter by some creepy teenage kids. But no! He is alive! He was a little sick at first, but he is doing well! He is adjusting to Lucy, and seems to remember our house perfectly alright! The only sad thing is that I had to go back up to Logan two days after we found him again.

See? A miracle. I was feeling so down that day, and finding our little Carl was exactly what I needed.

Look at the difference from when we lost him to when we found him:

Still the same cat, but so much bigger! So happy to have him back! I just love him so much! I just want to cuddle him all the time!!

Another requirement for my future spouse: he must love animals as much as I do.

Signing out,

Mandie

I have my faults, and that's okay

Today, I realized something that I need to work on: not dwelling on the past. I've had a hard life thus far, and it is so easy for me to sink into previous mindsets I've had, or brood over things long past. I really just came to this realization no more than ten minutes ago. Let me tell you how I got there.

So, I get home from this crazy long rehearsal for a gospel concert we are doing this Saturday (7:30 pm in the Kent Concert Hall, see arts.usu.edu for more details) and flop down on my couch. Being sick, I'm feeling pretty beat. So, of course, after updating my roommate on all the boy drama of the day, I hop on Facebook.

This next part is a reason that I am partially grateful and hateful to Facebook. You will see why.

As I'm scrolling through my news feed, I see something I was not expecting. A girl I knew in high school is back prematurely from her mission, and someone has posted all of these photos. Now, this girl was really awful to me in high school. I wasn't very kind back, and I made some mistakes which I have since repented and been forgiven of. This girl though... she was the most passive aggressive, conniving, envious person I had ever met. This still holds true, though I assume she's made some major changes in her attitude? Anyway, she was really just plain terrible to me in high school, and a lot of my insecurities came from her.

So I see that she's back. And the first thing I do? I exclaim, "Crap!" louder than I mean, making my roommate jump out of her seat. Of course she asks me whats wrong, and I say, "This girl is back from her mission, and I don't have a boyfriend!"

What the heck, Mandie? Since when, after you entered university, have you EVER felt like a man gives you your worth? I was, and still am a little, ashamed of myself. That is an old high school myth that carried over to ten minutes ago, and it's completely ridiculous! So I don't have a boyfriend. So what? Why does that matter? That doesn't define me. Ach. Still upset at myself.

But that's not all. After this, I start brooding. Seriously. I'm thinking about all the crap that happened in high school, all the things that she did to me, and then I'm thinking, "Huh. She came home from her mission early. If I was supposed to go on a mission, I would stay out the whole time, etc." So now, I got this whole "holier-than-thou" idea going on in my brain, which I immediately shut up, because that is stupid. I don't know why she came home, and I probably never will know, because I am not planning on talking to her at all in the near future. So who am I to judge? I make myself so angry sometimes.

I also wished that she would know that my dad died so that all of the pain that she caused me would billow upon her and she would feel sorry for what she'd done. But (hopefully) she already does, and she's gotten through it. And I feel bad about thinking about using my wonderful father as a guilt trip. I really am terrible.

So, as I'm thinking about my experiences and life, I realize something else. High school sucked. I mean, I already kind of knew that, but seriously. I made some fantastic friends that I will probably know forever, but some people were just mean. I had this experience a few months ago. I went to In'n'Out with my family and I saw an old high school chum there. She approached me and started telling me that after I graduated, I just went AWOL, and that she kind of understands it now, because she didn't go to a party the night before. She said, and I quote, "I didn't go to that party, and I was like, 'On my gosh! I'm Mandie Skousen!" She made it sound like AWOL was a bad thing. It's not. Yeah, I went AWOL. And for good reason. We are meant to move on, and mature, and meet new people, and have new experiences. I held no love for most of the people I knew in high school when I left. I didn't cry, I didn't feel sad. Well, I did, because a chapter of my life was closing, but I knew another one was beginning! I was ready to move on. I submit that this is a good thing! If I had really kept myself submerged with all of these people who were unhealthy and immature, I wouldn't be the person I am right now. And if that means giving up on some weird high school parties, then so be it.

So, faults have been revealed, and with them, truths that I am grateful for.

Sorry for this weird random blog post. I am typing with sick brain, and I tend to be incoherent when I have sick brain.

Farewell, my bonnie lads and lasses! Have a fair trip home, and a wonderful night of rest!

Signing out,
Mandie

Let's Just Do a Quick Little Update

First... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I love the New Year. I don't know if I always have or not, but this year, I am loving it. 2013 was a rough year. It really was. Of course, it had it's highs and lows. I don't know anyone who didn't have highs and low in 2013. I had Oakcrest, and all of the lovely people that I met there, and I got closer to a lot of friends at school, and my testimony is ROCK SOLID because of this last year. And then, my dad died at the end of June, and some of my old friends estranged themselves from me, and I had the hardest semester that I have ever had (Choosing between all 3!). Despite all of the great things that happened to me, I was so happy to put the year behind me. And now I am here! It's a new year, a new semester, a new apartment, new roommates, and I am ready! Bring it on!

So let's talk about my new apartment. I am in love with it. It's nothing fancy. It's probably older than me. But I love it. I don't know if that's because I am comparing it to my old apartment (paper thin walls, no hot water, smaller than a baby pygmy possum [I know these are really small because Dr. Seuss told me so], less than amiable housemates, etc.) but whatever it is, I am happy. I mean, I don't need a space heater! I left mine in Herriman! And I love my housemates. My actual roommate is a cello performance major, and I adore her. She is so fantastic. The other girls are really nice, though I have yet to meet one of them, but I am sure she is really nice too. Oh! I have covered parking too! I mean, there are only two spots for us, and three cars, but any covered parking I can get is awesome! And my ward is looking awesome. I can already tell.

I am super sad about one thing this semester, however. People are leaving me and graduating! It's the worst! One of my good friends already left for student teaching, and I miss him dearly! I am going to text him that right now. It is done.

See? Definitely stopped blogging and sent this message.

So that is very sad. I am going to miss all of my friends.

Anyway. The change of the year has given me renewed energy! That, and one of my resolutions is to eat less wheat, and eating less wheat always gives me more energy! Woo! Bring it on Spring 2014!

Signing out,

Mandie